Here are a few of our favorite things:
First show ever: A Tuesday night chicken wing night at a Ground Round restaurant. I was working there as a janitor at the time. Anyway, the place would have lame acoustic-strumming dudes providing background music as patrons gnawed on chicken wings and other such things. So one time, before going on vacation, my manager joked that this band I was in play there. So one night, while he was gone, we set up and played. People hated it. Some even threw wings at us. I was fired.
First job: Janitor at a Ground Round restaurant.
Song I would listen to if crashing in a plane: "So Long Marianne" by Leonard Cohen.
Cats or dogs: Cats are the only critter insidious enough to reverse the pet-master relationship without you even realizing it.
Best concert: Gang of Four vs. Cheap Trick.
Last meal I would choose: An exquisite, extremely exotic meal that would take a long time to prepare - and even longer to find a chef capable of preparing it. And even longer for me to think exactly what it would entail.
If you see me out and about, buy me: A round of: "Anti-American" drinks -- French wine, Russian vodka and German beer.
Favorite books: "Invitation to a Beheading," "The Joke," "Sex Lives of Famous People," "Easy Riders, Raging Bulls," "Film Noir," "The Idiot," "Encyclopaedia Brittanica," any decent road atlas of the United States.
Favorite flicks: Too many to mention, but here are some. "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly," "Touch of Evil," "All About My Mother," "24-Hour Party People," "Peeping Tom," "Planet of the Apes," "Existenz," "Undercover Brother," "Underground," "Once Upon a Time in the West," "Donnie Darko," "The Conversation," "Stroszek," "Out of the Past," "Superfly," "Ghost World," "Bloody Sunday," "Ghost Dog," "Barry Lyndon," "The Kid Stays in the Picture," "The Night Porter," "Last Tango in Paris," "Phantom of Liberty."
Childhood hobbies: Collecting everything from baseball cards to beer cans to stamps to postcards to 45s to movie posters. That in addition to setting fires in the backyard.
Something you don't know about me: I'm a contradiction, an open book and an enigma all at once.
Favorite song lyric: "Got to be good looking 'cause he's so hard to see" (John Lennon, "Come Together"). Though there may be better lyrics -- like maybe, "I don't want to grow up, it's too much contradiction" or "Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- this one resonates when it comes to vapid style-mongers, propagandists and idiots who have managed to transform the blank stare into a "thoughtful gaze."
Greatest irrational fear:When I was a kid, I almost fell into Niagara Falls. I got too close; if it weren't for my brother ... Anyway, since then I've been afraid of heights. I can't even look out from tall buildings; whenever I do I imagine people falling out. Driving over high suspension bridges is difficult, also. I even freaked during a recent trip to Las Vegas when I took the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower knock-off. I stood at the back of the elevator, thinking I could stand and look from a distance. Then I realized it was a two-sided elevator and I was at the front of the line. I quickly moved over, my back against the wall the whole time, and then let the herd charge ahead. I then ducked back into the elevator until I was safe and sound on the ground floor.
Sign of the Zodiac: Pisces.
Favorite junk food: Sour bears. And I like 'em really sour.
Words to live by: Why keep up with the Joneses when you can drag them down to your level.