THE ONION
May 7, 2003 Volume 39 Issue 17
justify your existence
COBRA VERDE

The Onion: Why should anyone buy your record?
John Petkovic (vocals/guitars): [submitted via e-mail] I hope that a lot of people buy this record. Maybe the weirdo who's always perched in the corner of the record store could use it to get a date: "So, baby, hear of this cool band, Cobra Verde? They sound kinda angular and post-punk and, well, yeah, maybe a little kinky, too."

O: Do you think your record will help people?
JP: What does it mean to "help"? If I were to, say, bust into your house and force you to listen to my tunes because I didn't like yours, would that be helping? Even if I called it "humanitarian bombing," you still might not be down with my rock action. Some time ago, the U.S. government made Manuel Noriega listen to Yoko Ono in an attempt to inflict psychological torture. But how did they know he didn't like her? Of course, they based it on the idea that no one could like something so hideous. Maybe they were right. But what if he really was a Yoko Ono fan? Noriega would still be sitting there jamming to these rockin' tunes, and the American Foreign Legion would be the one going bonkers. As for the new album by Cobra Verde, I really do like it. This is the first record I've been involved with that I wasn't sick of months after recording it.

O: Do you think your record could save lives?
JP: Save people? From whom, themselves? Or do you mean in a spiritual way? It reminds me of high school. I used to write papers that refuted the legitimacy of the assignment. Teachers thought I was being a smart-ass and would give me Ds and Fs and "unsatisfactory" in citizenship. So I'm not falling for that one. Nice try, but I'll take a rain check on salvation.

O: Is this record your ticket to heaven?
JP: Let's not make this a religious conflict. After all, today, people are dying for things that no one really believes in. Heaven is whatever you want it to be, if you know what I mean–'cause I don't.

Cobra Verde's newest album is titled Easy Listening. (Buy It!)
— Stephen Thompson